Going out for a walk in da Hood.

Busy day ahead...least for me. Getting the new Covid shot. Yeah, they just rolled out the new flavor. Almond strawberry vanilla. I think ya gets fries wit dat. Good news the local branch library reopened. Over two solid years since I couldn't find what I wanted. It's been so long I think I need a new card. I want one with Charlie Brown. He never got what he wanted either. Then check my bank account onto Elder Social Services to tell them sorry I'm still alive. At last to my Chinese takeout for a swell Veggie Bowl. Then home pass out and wakeup after midnight and watch old movies. It ain't much of a life but it beats da alternative and passes da time.

 

After he slugged host Chris Rock in the face. Viewed by literal multi-millions on the planet. Will Smith won an Oscar. Then got a standing ovation and a big party. Should have been disqualified from one on the spot and arrested but no. Standing ovation. ...and that gleeful party. Fuck'em all. It’s over. Business is business right before our eyes in a visceral nutshell.

How we loved them

I remember movies when they were movies.

Not agitprop for bad ideas and products that will kill our souls.

 

Amazing what we settle for as our once envied standard of living falls into a Black Hole. Above a shipping container as affordable housing. Though the cute storybook setting does not come with it. Picture it covered in security bars with dozens of others in a trash strewn muddy lot. I imagine as it gets worse dumpsters will be marketed as studio apartments. 

 

Back a few years ago. When they gave me that medical workout while I was in hospital. Them butchers trying to figure out why I was in such agony. I told them if they found cancer to let me go home. I said I give no permission for any treatment other than pain killers.

Was told that was an "unhelpful attitude".

I said "....for who?"

 

Was chatting with my FB artist pal Mykol Blackwell. I saw his work. Winged souls. I mentioned when in doubt add wings. The Angels will take it from there. I just did and they did.

My cousin Natasha Smith gifted me a 1929 Texaco air racer. Back then air races were a thing. The Space X of its time. So while existing in my cold digs. Yeah no heat they're still working on it. Tonight 26f/-3c with gale force winds. Life in the big city. Where was I? Right, I set up a kitchen table shoot to keep warm. Positioned the plane. Threw in Brit 19th century Anglo-Sudan guys. Which I had handy as one does. Point'n click!

I just woke from this. A burning cloud heaves over Manhattan. Buildings vanish as dreams on waking. Deep reds and black race towards me. Subway. Jupiter Street. Tunnel collapses. The sky is on fire embers of red and orange. I wake wonder sleep. The dream waits. Black rain.

"...attitude"

On the upside. I was hanging in my fav Hispanic deli. An old pal runs it. There was nobody else in da shop. So we was yakking away passing da time. He offers a shot of Jack Daniels. I tells’em I don’t drink he sez: “Gimme a break.” So we toasts eternity and sucks a few down. Being newly oiled I rants about G-d. That gal is always on my mind. I sez: When i gets to them gates of heaven or Cincinatti in 1950 or wherever they dump us. Saint Peter asks if I had any complaints about my tour down there. I sez: You kidding that place is a  bag of wet shit in a heatwave…but mostly okay. Pete sez I likes ya attitude have a nice eternity.”

To our younger selves:

"No! ...Don't!! It's a Cook Book!!!"

 

 

 

 

"...Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow"

Child Soldiers are common through history. 

They used to be a routine part of any army 

going back to the first wars.

I think 5000 years ago or so forget where.

Like everything else in the modern era.

It was the Enlightenment era that changed things.

Sort of kinda in a way maybe. Long story.

War needs rules as they tend to get out of hand.

Mind you the rules are mostly ignored

 but come in handy sometimes.

Like loot 'before' you burn. 

Don't shit upstream of your camp.

Handy stuff like that.

Then we got 'Woke'.

Ya know don't slaughter the civilians for fun.

Don't blowup historic places.

Don't kill old folks or kids.

These are near never obeyed but still come in handy.

Special occasions and such.

Like keep girls alive to rape keep boys alive 

to turn into cannon fodder.

There's Boy Soldiers again. 

These turning up on both sides of the current war. 

Mind Boys were used in 3rd world wars forever.

Of course no one cared for the usual reasons.

Wadda ya expect they're savages.

In da 21st century boys somewhat rare in 1st world wars. 

The Balkan kid troops were in the 20th century.

We thought we got over that.

We didn't.

Anyway, there's all this war crimes talk about it.

None for the 3rd world kids. 

Darker skin has less value. This is just the truth of it.

It's why you've never heard of the 

1st or 2nd Congo war. 

Outside of the West it's called: 

'The First African World War'.

This as 10 African nations including 

western financial interests were involved.

Five Millions Dead.

Did you read that did you get it do you care?

I didn't think so.

As for the boys they're just doing their job.

Like they've done in wars for 5000 years.

Could I have been a Boy Soldier?

You bet in a fucking heartbeat.

Like kids fleeing pig farms to join the Crusades.

Me, anything to get the fuck out of school.

That and I get to shoot bullies.

Yeah, I could be KIA but so what. Beats Algebra.

Welcome to Earth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“New York is notoriously the largest and least loved of any of our great cities. Why should it be loved as a city? It is never the same city for a dozen years altogether. A man born forty years ago finds nothing, absolutely nothing, of the New York he knew. If he chances to stumble upon a few old houses not yet leveled, he is fortunate. But the landmarks, the objects, which marked the city to him, as a city, are gone."—Harper’s Monthly, 1856

My comment: 

Everything from my youth and early adult years is gone. …everything. It’s like they never were. You can’t love this City because it completely changes every decade or so. It is more a familiar stranger than a love.  Cities both ancient and now were always living beings. Like forests or coral reefs. They change as their environment changes. …For better or worse.

A photo since gone viral shared by the former president of the European Council, Donald Tusk. A Ukrainian girl sitting in a broken window. Lollipop in her mouth and a gun in her arm. Such is the tragedy of war. Yeah, could be staged...probably was but still. Real kids are in fact fighting. Ukrainian high school kids and 17-year-old Russian conscripts. If asymmetrical warfare happens here like so many want. This could be Queens Wichita or Seattle. War is neither romantic nor fun.

"...eat me"

 

About the vast realms of Conspiracies. Being a UFO nut, I feel qualified to comment. The notion of a world ruling cabal is unlikely. 'They' don't have the wit. Such contradicts every value 'they' have. There are secret societies. These steal murder and distort...but so does everyone else. So no conspiracies since none are needed. Just our ongoing cobbled together irrational systems that openly poison the water of whole cities. Feed us mass produced poisoned food. Give us disturbed buffoons to vote for and sell us discount opioids and porn. No secrets. If they want to kill us, they'll just do it. Then sell us the t-shirts which we'll buy. Btw you should still vote. There's a surface difference between evil buffoons and boring ones.

"...time and again"

There and back again. I set my *dark matter pocket watch, and shifted to May 24,1967 CE 2:28 pm, Central Park. The experience is like passing through a warm mist. To any watching I would seem to have just walked from under the shade of a tree. The unit makes your entry as unremarkable as possible. I wander the park, and observe an actual Hippie Be-in. Of a kind I remember taking part in as a teen. Though now with the experience of 55 years I see with very different eyes.

I was at first moved. 

Their hope affection trust. All of which will be co-opted, and betrayed. I realized many of these youths will go on to become the selfish ‘Me Generation’ of the 1970's. Later as elders hostile xenophobic culture warriors.
I left with somber feelings.
My next stop Wyoming 26,000~BCE.I was always interested in that culture. Them folks were still somewhat fresh from Pan-Asia so may never have heard any Country & Western Music or had much experience with cops or income tax.

*Thoughts on time shifting to lost human cultures.

We have been physically mentally capable as we are for perhaps a half million years. Depending on which tenured wonk you ask. More than enough time to get up to all sorts of mayhem. From what other temporal shifters tell me.  During the lower sea level period of the the ice age. There was a Bronze Age culture. This on a large island now at the bottom of the Indian Ocean.  

Later a sea faring world exploring 18th or early 19th century level society. This 12,000 years ago. That might be where the Atlantis myth came from. Still another in its early Iron Age. It’s currently buried under the Siberian tundra, and Arctic Ocean. Traces have been found, but mis-identified. As so much has been.

There have been attempts to reach these times by many temporal shifters. Few return. However, a dark matter temporal watch was found among the items from that Siberian tundra culture. So more than one of us made it back there. The native artifacts the watch and an iPhone date to approx. 29,000 BCE.

Given half a million years of unknown history. I suspect there was at least one culture at our level or better also lost. We may find their stuff on the Moon Mars or the moons of the gas giants eventually.  

Time will tell.

"...a queer moment"

This a post from a long-ago Nuked Queer blog I ran.

There were so many. 

All Nuked.

Think of the Digital Megatonnage.

Once upon a time:

Saint Dominic Savio above there is perhaps the only Saint other than Walt Whitman that I would have really liked to have been close friends with. Not just because he seemed to be insanely cute.

These are idealized paintings after all. He probably was just a regular looking kid. As for Walt Whitman I would have happily cooked and washed for him.

Saint Dominic was the main squeeze of Saint Don Bosco a very Spiritual 19th century priest, and general do-gooder. He, and Dominic were by a reading of the accounts "Soul Mates".  

In that they were both touched by what rural Black folks down South still call the "Shine". Which means they had the "Seeing". The ability to sense deep spiritual realities. What some call "Miracle Making".

I'm familiar with this blessing in having met two people with it and have a very light touch of it myself.  Indeed we 'all' have a touch if we would open ourselves to it.

As a young Queer lad I did.

Being a young Queer boy in the 50's, and early 1960's. I had no one, and nowhere to go, but inward. I was amazed at what I found there! Sometimes it still speaks to me 

Though not as when  was young. 

It's a fire you have to tend, and I stopped. The world it's brutalities, and my own fears smothered it for many years...though as I say it seems to be sparking again. 

As for our heroes Saint's Don, and Dominic some joked...including me that they spent many hot times together on their knees...ahem.

They certainly did. However those passionate walks to the woods I now am certain were not for  steamy hanky panky...pity. They were 'actually' in "Spiritual Communion" with realms most can never imagine.

Imagine!

So yeah I'd loved to have sat had tea meditated, and perhaps kissed Saint Dominic on his brow with chaste affection. As  I would have Saint Whitman. 

 

"...Mr. Internet"

Above my magic window on this deranged planet. Thanks to Mr. Internets amazing invention. We can all watch the end of the world in real time. I was watching a Russian Vlogger just now. She sez a lot of her friends are in jail now. This for being against the war and vlogging about it. Also she's in trouble and might be arrested soon so was saying goodbye. Was questioned at work for being suspected of going to an anti-Putin demo.

She mentioned there's one small piece of good news.

In Russia they don't have to wear masks inside of stores or large buildings anymore. With all the horrible things happening. The war sanctions now mass arrests. Everyone has forgot about Covid. I hope she makes it she's a good kid.

I notice the same thing here in the land of the somewhat still free.

Even in the Emerald City. No not vloggers being disappeared...yet. But I see except for elders most have stopped wearing masks. People mobbed test sites when Omicron showed up. Now no lines. None. The busses that give you vaccine shots just sit there empty. Like ice-cream, stands in a blizzard.

Covid isn't over...kinda, but we've all made a sort of peace with it and moved on. As last time in 1918~19 it will be forgotten. The 2020~22 Pandemic. A million+ American dead soon forgotten. Near 7 million in the rest of the world. We are an interesting species. We don't seem to be able to hold more that one important thing in our minds at a time.

 

 

I took the opportunity of these chaotic terrifying days to clear out some stuff. It's all in about 10 office storage boxes in my bedroom. The rest of my digs are Zen plain, but that bedroom corner is hell. I started this evening.

Old receipts from 2011 dead junk mail. Notes for stuff I was writing, but then realized how stupid they were. These remain rather extremely stupid. The years did nothing for them.

DVD's I thought I'd lost. One in particular..."Kind Hearts, and Coronets"...put that on your plague/wartime movie list.

Old comic books I can re-read. After a few years you forget so they're like new editions. 30-year-old audio cassettes from my early radio daze, and some model kits I forgot about. These will all come in handy as I live out my portion of the 21st century.

Gets better. Cut-off notices from Con Ed ...bastards. You miss a month they're after you. Dead flip and iPhones. I should trade these in for the gold in them. Paperwork from Social Services. You get old you have to deal with them heartless cyborgs.

Instructions for equipment that broke years ago. Breath mints, they still work. Old Jury Duty warnings...I skipped a few, and $4.27 cents in change...which will also be handy. So I'm keeping about a third of my trash. ...gives me more empathy for Hoarders. This exhausted me. Six boxes still to go. I'm laying down for a few days.

 

The Cathedral of Saint John the Divine Manhattan.

 When I was Houseless, I was invited in and spent the day and night. 

I took these pictures while there. They were a kind generous community. 

If I ever write a book it will begin:

"I slept and dreamed in a Cathedral."

   

https://www.facebook.com/StJohnDivineNYC/

 

Our government or at least our head of state accuses Russia of War Crimes in Ukraine. Mind we and many others have done the same elsewhere. Still the U.N. Charter and the World Court's founding documents are clear on it. It's good it's written down and enacted. Right now, these laws are ignored. Jokes to the powerful. However, in time they will be taken seriously and obeyed. The first step is enacting good laws and overturning the bad. That's the easy part. Just the work of a century or so. In our republic it took 100+ years to pass the Anti-Lynching Bill. This not in the 60's but just a year or two ago. Yes, there was no specific law against it into the 21st century. The law for that and war crimes is just the first step. Now the job of changing minds hearts and nations.

That road is long but the goal certain.

 

'Reading stuff from my fellow Americans. If there's mass deportations like they want. I think this means I get sent back to 147th Street. 'Maybe I should brush up on the language, and customs.

 

 

Speaking of the petrol famines. No idea what alternate history or other planet this comes from. Runs on apples. After the end of a 150km ride open the hood and have a fresh hot apple pie. You supply the napkins, and plates though. I'll have two of these. One to drive one to use as a stove.

"Eh...did someone here call a Superhero?"

 

 

Meanwhile off-world: The Juno Mission to Jupiter is sending back new detailed images of that gas giant. Above are exotic Ammonia spark lighting storms on Jupiter. Our noise wouldn't qualify as a warmup act. Puts us in perspective. Also our era will be noted as the brief period when a digitally connected spacefaring post-industrial culture. Co-existed with hunter gatherers and medieval siege warfare cultures. Future social anthropologists will be amazed.

 

"...This just in"

Fucking figures.

 

Sez Uncle Sid:

"This shit ain't at all what I expected!"

 

Speaking of unforeseen effects. These times bring back traumas. Cold War memories of early childhood. Overturning back yard basins and flowerpots. This so radioactive rain won't collect. Open air nuclear tests in our republic were common then. I and some of you still have Strontium-90 in our bones from that time. 

I'm having dreams of end time events. Being caught in the park during a nuclear warhead detonation. As I kid, I dreamt that often. I just did again. Exactly the same dream. I was even 10 or 11 in the dream as before. It was like being inside a suddenly switched-on lightbulb. 

The European war is settling into one of attrition. Russia can't take all the Ukrainian cities so they're bombing them to bits.  This is standard battle doctrine for them. They did it to their breakaway republics and Syria. So it's like Verdun. Neither side takes much ground they just hack at each other till one sez 'uncle'.

The wild card is Putin like all deranged autocrats won't give. Come May or June he could say "...fuck it" and loose a warhead at Kiev. Maybe a single airburst megaton. Mind if so he'd likely be removed. The method a 9mm round to the head or retirement to his dacha or turn him over the the Hauge for trial. 

That or more canned sunshine is tossed about.

As Z mentioned in da comments. Covid/Ukraine has finally ended the 20th century. Just as WW1 ended the 19th century. The 21st is before us.

A nine tenths full Moon.

This from my wet fire-escape Observatory.

We had a hell of a downpour last night.

 

 

 

I built this years ago.

The Tower Bridge of London.

But gimme a break I like looking at it.

Still working on that damned Cathedral.

Started it years before this.

Even the real thing can take a few centuries.

At this rate it should be finished

about 29 years after I'm dead.

I'll post it then.

Mean time I'll just sit around 

watching the end of the world as we knew it.

Btw it's around midnight

in da Emerald City.

We're having the first scary thunderstorm of Spring.

Strong winds then a bleeping gigantic cloud burst. 

Now a steamy humid cloak drops over town.

How quickly the seasons fly.

It was snowing just last week.

Hot summer coming in a moment fall colors. 

then snow again. Forever and never. 

Eternity in a blink.