"...ZZZZZZZZZ"

Well I've had enuff bleeping fun for one day.

I'm going to bed.

If I'm lotto lucky I won't wake up.

Otherwise I'll see ya around.

 

 "...just so"

Well once upon a time.

I dreamed. In this dream I was a kid in a huge tribe of kids. We were ragged fast smart keen to get over. We were survivors.

The Dream happens on a war ruined world. We roamed tumbled down cities. In dreams you have friends who when waking vanish from memory. Only to be waiting for you when you sleep again.

This dream was just so. I loved my tribe. We hunted sang slept together shared danger, and love. Who could ask for more?

A Mystery.

There were mysteries in this dream world.

I remember a bunch of us sitting on a pile of bricks looking up, and watching huge airships. Great floating cities. They were silent as they glided by.

Silent, but burning. They sailed over us one after another like brightly burning clouds. Burning. Not consumed. A mystery.

Dragons.

We were so often chased by great dragons. ...not of one them smiling!

We could fly.

We flew from street to tree to window to roof.

This dream so real. I could feel the rush of cold air the whistle of wind in my ears.

All the while being chased,...by Dragons.

The dream morphed.

I leaped landed in a tree house. War world gone. I was on a world of trees. Like America before civilization ate it or Endor before the prequels.

A great pale ringed moon was rising on the horizon.

'But this is another story for another time.

(...This a story I wrote years ago. I should pitch it like most of my trash to Hulu.)

 "...Alice"

When I was eight. Sister Alice my teacher gave me something magical. She said all of our lives every moment, and everything we did no matter how small,…was a prayer. To G-d every living being all life is a prayer. Individual special living prayers. My Mother gave me life Sister Alice gave me a miracle to put in it.

(...This one also from a few years back. Hey I gots near 16 years of this blog stuff around. So ya gots to expect re-runs for time to time. Anyway I remember Sister Alice because she was one of the few Nuns that didn't beat humiliate or generally traumatize me for life. I think she was one of maybe three that didn't commit what would now be felonies against us.)

 "...soap"

FB just gave a pre-COVID memory from four years ago. Just days before #45 took office.

A dear friend told me we have two souls. A Warrior's, and a Mother's. Our "Warrior" side fights to survive in this deranged world the "Mothering" side makes Art, and Cares for Family Friends the World. ...my shrink came to mostly the same conclusion.

We try when not caught up in our own noise. We try to give what love we can to whoever we can.

I just met a lady while shopping. This before Christmas. In conversation it came out she's a recovering Addict. That, and fearful of falling back in. I don't know where my words came from, but they always do. It's the same for you. ...they just come.

I spoke about my own destructive habits, and how I got out...and stayed out. We went on like this for a while...a very long Holiday line. Ya see we're all Angels. We all are called on from time to time to give a message. That's what an Angel is. A 'verb' not a noun. A message.

We're Messengers 'all' of us.

Anyway we parted well, and I'm sure she's passing on her own messages.

She certainly gave me one. Imagine called on to give healing words when all you think you're doing is buying soap. ...Life is like this.

"Eckk"

 

"Eckk"

As you know besides everything else I'm a shape shifter. I find it easier to turn into cartoon characters as opposed to say a radioactive toaster. Anyway there I am as "Alice". I always wanted to be a 9 year old Victorian abused kid.

I'm also the cat. 

(Well this crap is from let's see,...holy fuck! 10 years ago! Well it did pass the time, and I liked the gif.)

I had another of those dreams a few nights ago.

I was burning the last of my possessions. The things that like barnacles have stuck to me. They burned. My books manuscripts drawings all burned. They curled turned to ash blew away.

These, and the trinkets I’ve carried with me through my life. They twisted bubbled melted. Became black smoke, and vanished in the bright coals.

My parents were there.

Well their shadows in peripheral corners were.

They didn’t speak they never do.

So I fed the fire with all I still had. I cleansed myself of my worldly parts. It was time. On impulse I shoved my hand into the fire. …don’t ask. It was cold. Burning ice. Dante wrote that hell is a cold place. The greater the sins the lower, and colder you get.

Being mortal I’m not so lucky. No unknown country awaits. Me you all mortals. We vanish. Viruses great oaks lady bugs all of us go back to Oblivion. At least that’s how it looks.

On the other hand. When you do good it’s for it’s own sake. It ‘is’ it’s own reward like fortune cookies tell us. None of us has an account in paradise where our good deeds accrue interest.

We’re spiritual paupers. I think we’re suppose to be. So just be kind, and generous as best you can. Not for reward, but because we should.

"...numbers"

The snap polling of the Biden address to Congress. 85% of those who watched the speech generally approved of it, while 15% disapproved. 74% of people in the poll said they believe the plans Biden laid out would help them, while 85% said they like his plan to create jobs. 73% said Biden’s proposals would move the country in the right direction. 

The share of Republicans who agreed with the statement doubled after the speech, from 13% to 27%. Among independents, the number rose from 61% before the address to 73% after.
Mind you polling in this country is not always reliable. The 2020 elections polls were serious off. Still even with that most Americans were at least optimistic after hearing Uncle Joe.

One thing is certain. He’ll get no help from Republicans. 

Though the Covid Bill has a near 80% approval from both sides. Not one republican voted for it…not one. Also as was pointed out not one republican applauded when Uncle Joe said we could cure many kinds of cancers. They weren’t even against curing cancer if a democrat was going to do it.
As commentators said. Though Joe sez he wants Bi-partisan cooperation there will be none. He will have to govern over the heads of the republicans. 

As Mitch McConnell said of Obama. 

"We will oppose everything he tries even if it’s good good the country." 

That’s who, and what republicans are. 

At least in this divided era.

"...diva"

Charles Guislain aka "Charlie".

I had a "Blue Angel" obsession with this guy once.

Well still do in my way,...ah my past.

Charlie was an early 21st century

model, and diva.

It was such an innocent time.

Much like Weimar we had no idea 

of the wild evil shit that was coming.

&,

It ain't over yet!

 

"...start"

Spring in my 'Hood.

It's a start.

 

"...wit"

One tries so hard not to fall into the darkness.

We try to be bright humorous.

To have wit, and grace.

This in times of routine venalities.

 

"...Howl"

Several thoughts observations.

...Roses"

It took three billion years for Earth to create the Rose.

She is patient, and knows exactly what She's doing.

...A Palace of Dreams"

Libraries really should be open 24/7/365, and have facilities for folks to live there. Expand their research areas all that neat action.

A pal, and I often discuss plans of a live in Library, and Theater for retired Ladies, and Gentlemen with Artistic Proclivities. I think I'd enjoy living in such.

...Read.

I'm trying to read, no longer as easy as it sounds.

As I attempt on occasion I had yet another go at Donne's Holy Sonnets. How the language has shifted in just a handful of centuries. What will folks make of Ginsberg in just three or four hundred years. How will "Howl" scan to them.

Also reading James Baldwin's sermons. What would he, and Donne have made of each other. Would they find kindred streaks of fire in each others words?

...As for Dolls.

Boys, and Men should play with Dolls.

Doll play is good for the soul. It Humanizes. For boys it would help them understand their responsibilities to others. This would help them see in a more compassionate, and generous way. Only 'good' could come from this.

...Big Book of Little Stuff.

Therapy is nice. You talk to a person paid to listen to you. Even if they don't care it's still nice. Because you're telling your story,...even if only to yourself."

...Church

I visited, and sat in my childhood church for a while today.

It's all still there all the mysteries, and contradictions.

All the memories too. While meditating on these I was happy to see the stained glass had been restored. Color, and light. This is all that's really needed.

"My dreams are haunted, but my friends make me laugh."

"...the living end"

Heaven at least at first. What would da gawds make for us? I imagine it would be a matter of point of view, and degree. East St. Louis in 1978 was at the time among the worst of American urban hells. However some peasants from 1428 Ipswich England dumped there would imagine they'd gone to heaven. Fresh water miraculous machines. Everyone so well dressed like the nobility. Amazingly wealthy Moors, and great palaces everywhere, and free food. All that would actually be fire hydrants cars buses the ghetto underclass abandoned factories, and garbage.

Heaven or Hell as the Angels tell us depends on your point of view. 

"I Love A Mystery" ...google '30's radio game show.

 

"I Love A Mystery" ...google '30's radio game show.

Here's a mystery from my childhood. 

Back in about 1961 or so at my Church Saint Matthews. A statue of Saint Teresa of Avila moved, and spoke to some of the girls in my class.
We as usual had been dragged in for Friday confessions. 

This to tidy our souls up for Communion on Sunday.
However what 10 or 11 year old kids could do to look bad in G-d's eyes I can't imagine. 

However the Nuns weren't taking any chances.

As for that talking plaster,...the church doesn't like personal revelations.
They prefer things go through the main office.
Well the bishop came to shut the whole deal down. A fucking Gag Order!

The girls, and the whole class was told to shut the hell up about it,...and we did. 

It was our own personal "X-File". I love a Mystery.
There she is above 60+ years older, and looking fresh as butter in the humid sun.
Though not talking when I went by to say hello. ...gag order.

I'm often asked what the animated plaster Saint Teresa said or did during this event.

She said, "...Pray". That's all.  No advice on how to escape from that demented religion.

Just we should "...Pray". She also opened her arms, and the roses which were no longer plaster fell to the ground. 

 Anyway an army of angry Nuns came to shut us the hell up. All was back to what passes as normal. Except none of us was ever "normal" again. 

This our my initiation into the mysterious, and the fucked up response to it.. 

A tangible knowing that things are not as simple or ordinary as they appear.

Also that adults pretty much all of them were lying dishonest shit eating bullies.

"...flying"

It's good for a church to have an open roof. 

Makes it easier for the Angels to get in. 

When I was little I thought that during service 

the church would lift up to into the sky, and float in Heaven.

I really believed this. 

When the organ really went to town, and the choir was going nuts. 

I believed I could feel the actual building heaving up into the sky.

Perhaps carried by Angels.

At the time I also believed that I could fly. 

As I've mentioned here. 

I thought I could perch on my window sill leap, and fly. 

Fly to the tree outside of my bedroom.  

I was convinced I had the power. Faith is a serious thing.

Btw I bet I could'a flown

I'll bet kids fly, and perform all manner of Miracles.

Mostly they don't tell.

 They know we've stopped believing in Majik.

 

"...trams"

Empress Dubteppia of Brooklyn,

 it's Outer islands, and Imperial Colonies.

*

I like her free tuition health care, and tram policy.

 

"Ангелы победоносные"

 

"Ангелы победоносные"

Despite these times I still Believe.

I Believe in Magic Faeries Angels, and more.

These times demand believing in the Miraculous.

"...The Kindly"

 

 

"...days go by"

 

"Me in Heaven"

 

"Me in Heaven"

"...love"

 

"...love"

عشق به صلح عشق مهربانی عشق به پسران.
Любовь к миру, любовь к добру, любовь к мальчикам.
Αγάπη της ειρήνης αγάπη της καλοσύνης αγάπη των αγοριών.
Liebe zum Frieden, Liebe zur Güte, Liebe zu Jungen.
אהבת שלום אהבת חסד אהבת בנים.
Amour de paix amour de gentillesse amour des garçons.
ਸ਼ਾਂਤੀ ਦਾ ਪਿਆਰ ਦਿਆਲੂ ਪਿਆਰ ਮੁੰਡਿਆਂ ਦਾ.

Love of Peace love of Kindness
love of Beauty.

These are the most Ancient of Thought Crimes.

"...This is the World Queer Pacifists Want"

~Blessed Saint Jampa of the Snows~

(Jampa Tibetan for Loving Kindness.)

Consider this my home made Holy Card.

This for the Feasts of Saints Ralph Chubb, and Harry Hay.