A gay tale from my archives to cheer us up!
"Oscar's Day Out"
Our hero Oscar Wilde has come back to earth to cash in on NYC's "Booze, and Dope for your Illegal Guns".
(...A program our current mayor thought of while on an Angel Dust Whiskey rush.)
Oscar knowing a bargain when he drinks one came to town with a sack of assorted fire arms. Including the pistol Hitler blew his brains out with, Buffalo Bill's six shooters, and John Dillinger's Tommy guns.
The aforementioned luminaries were happy to donate these items to Oscar in return for a cut of the take. (...yes 'everyone' goes to heaven. More on that another time.)
Well, you can imagine Oscar's surprise, and outrage when the Mayor's apparatchiks turned him down flat! Apparently there's an obscure clause in the City Charter that forbids doing any business with the dead. Unless they're registering to vote. Not only that, but they tried to confiscate all of our hero's guns too!
Bleep this sez Oscar, and he lays some celestial double whammies on these wonks.
While the mere mortals are out cold in la la land. Oscar helps himself to as much contraband as he can carry, and leaves. Btw he later stops to look in on his old friend Uncle Sidney.
As you know dear Uncle given current events has been rather down. Oscar shares some opium with our beloved Uncle. He sez to our ailing Uncle, "....my dear colleague Emily Dickinson swears by this wondrous elixir!" Our hero, and Uncle play a pleasant game of hearts while listening to the Beatles White Album.
After this, and various unprintable adventures about town. Oscar Wilde un-dead Queer hero of millions goes to an arraigned photo op. This at the Rainbow Flag factory in Burning Rash, New Jersey.
However upon being told there was 'no' ex gratia payment for his services he promptly pissed on the rug. He then lectured his hosts on the finer points of what an armed, and profoundly intoxicated dead Queer poet, and orator could do when annoyed.
Upon consideration of this, and other super-natural events a reasonable honorarium was agreed upon.
Oscar then returned to Heaven where he had a luncheon date with Mr. Rodgers, and Leonardo da Vinci.
As is typical. When I posted this, and another slightly gay tale on my Facebook page. I got dead silence. I always do. My cake post above got likes, and nice comments.
ReplyDeleteI unloaded on these fuckers for being typical white liberals. Pretending to be supportive from a safe distance.
That they'd stand back, and look the other way as me, and mine were hauled to the ovens...like they always do.
No comments dead silence.
It was once again pointless.
I took that, and the stories down.
I hate straight people.
I'm starting to hate most white people.
I mean Hate.
My compassion is ebbing.
In such times I can find almost no forgiveness in my heart.
I never said I was any sort of angel...just human with limits.