This just in,....The National Weather Service today announced that after Tuesday July 23, 2020 at 11:48am. After this date, and time there will be no more weather. At least none as we currently understand it. This being because of our coming encounter with the Black Hole "Wolf 359".

Black holes as most know are profoundly mysterious. A feature of their nature as we now suddenly know is that they can appear anywhere at anytime. This some astro-physicists belatedly say may explain some aspects of Dark Matter.

Not that this matters now,...so to speak.

The outer Event Horizon of Wolf 359 will touch down 250km from the coast of California, and move with the rotation of the Earth westward. Boiling the seas in front of it as it goes. Behind this the earth possibly to a depth of 50 miles will be stripped into the Hole. Some think to the core as the earth itself is devoured whole.

In front of the event horizon wave the boiling ocean will slowing scald all life slowly to death. There is no possible shelter. This as reported will take a full earthly rotation to complete. So 24 hours from the initial contact the world will be no more.

If the surface is stripped to the 50 miles anticipated it's possible that within two to three billion years the planet will "heal".

Though it would not be an "Earth" we would recognize. Some scientists project that it would be closer to the current "Mars" model with a possible light atmosphere. Whereas some kind of life 'may' re-evolve this is unlikely.

As for reactions to this sudden interesting news President Trump says he will stay in Florida, and play golf. He also just resigned. "Fuck this shit. I did it on a dare anyway"

The new President is Slone Gibson the Secretary of Veterans Affairs, and 17th in line of succession. The rest had other plans. The President has announced a "National Block Party" to begin at 9am Monday, and to last till the consumption of the earth that Tuesday morning.

The party will be funded by the National Treasury.

"Basically all the material needs, and wants of the American people will be met. 

"Of course" said the new President, "...we could have been doing this all along, but the evil shit heads that ran things thought you were no better than slaves so treated you accordingly."

The new, and now very popular President also opened our national secret archives for both scholars, and the curious to examine. Turns out them UFO guys are real. Their recent disappearance no doubt linked to the approach of "Wolf 359". It btw was in humor named after an episode in the "Star Trek" mythology.

Also yes as assumed it was a combination of wealthy elites business interests the intelligence community of this, and other nations that killed the Kennedy brothers as well as Dr. MLK. Cures for most kinds of cancers were found in the mid-1980's but kept from the population for economic reasons. Those wealthy elites of course has access to them.

This, free tuition free lunch, and flying cars jet packs no glasses needed for real 3D-TV hyper-quantum internet have been in existence for 20 years, but were also kept from the world. With the exception of the elites, and military.

The reaction from the religious leaders of the world was predictable. 

The Dali Lama is reported to have said, "...I told you so" Pope Francis, "...and you deserve every bit of it you selfish greedy shits!". Also that guy on the "700 Club" stunned wept into the camera, "...'The Fuck?!!"

Locally obscure blogger collage artist, and even more obscure former radio personality Uncle Sidney was rather at ease with the whole thing. Uncle on hearing of the coming weird, and rather painful end of the world revealed himself as a minor member of the Angelic realm.

"I was in lower middle management" said Uncle.

"I finally pissed off enough bosses to get sent to earth as a clerk. My job was cataloging comic books, and really bad novels." "Btw" Uncle went on. "This shit is not just the end of you guys down here."

"All of the human made religions, and gawds are toast. This includes their spiritual bureaucracies as well."

Uncle mused, "Sorry, but that whole Abraham thing from which us Angels came was sort of made up. However with so much human energy poured into it for so long it became,...well sort of real. Hard to explain. Anyway when humanity goes the energy goes with it so all your heavens hells or whatever is toast on Tuesday along with everything else around here.

Me I'm taking president what's his name's offer to get neat stuff. I gots my eye on a hot pink 1956 "Thunderbird",...ya know with that little "porthole"? Yeah that if they can find one in time.

However all may not be lost,...Uncle goes on.

"Um,...I must say at this point. I mean still having a bit of connection with all that spirit jazz."

"Nothing may happen."

"The Ultra-verse is weird. Ya know like that big Blizzard we were supposed to get here in NYC the other winter. At literally the 'last' moment it went north, and we got drizzle instead."

"Well "Wolf 359" may well do the same, and disappear back into whatever dark matter corner it came from. Just saying."

"Also Trump may want his job back."

More on this developing story as events warrant.