"Telephone"

Well I have a telephone. Well I did,...it died. I have to get another one. However when I did have one I would speak to people on it or they'd dial me, and speak to me. That's all it does. I had a time finding something that did just that, and only that!

A few years back while looking for such. I had a youngster in a shop trying to sell me all sorts of nonsense. It does this that the other. I said I just wanted to talk on it.

A blank look from the sales kid.

He actually said, "...I don't understand". I said I watch TV on my TV, and listen to radio on my radio, and take pictures with my camera. I email on my computers, and blog on the same. I have no use or need to drag all of that around with me. Blank look...stunned actually. He said, "I don't think they make anything like that now."

The manager came over he was older...in his early 30's so may have seen a large black piece of plastic on a table at his grand mother's house when he was a baby. "You're the man that wants a "telephone?"

"Yeah" I sez. I tells him in the nicest way I can that at my age I know more dead folks than live ones. I tells him he "may be so lucky" one day. He smiles. That's nice. It's nice to make folks think, and smile.

Anyway I tell the youngster that I've never texted anyone in my life, and was unlikely to do this since everyone still alive I know has also never done such foolishness. That or watch movies on a bleeping phone. I mean whose idea was that?

Anyhow he taps on his hand held looks around, and sez, "Eh,...I think we actually have something you can use. It's Korean, and made for elders."

Really?

Anyway he sends junior to the storeroom to fetch the rare, and prized item. It's a slightly smaller than palm sized 2005-ish looking thing. It makes calls, and takes them. Also that "911" for free stuff. ...Period. Though he started to say "it could text if you,..." I said thanks I'll take it as it is." I said the only thing I need this for is my sister, and friends to "call me to see if I'm still alive", and me them. That's it. After over 50 years my pals and I have said all we need to say...other than to make sure we're all still alive.

Good thing I got it when I did as I doubt anyone on earth makes this sort anymore. Bleeping goat herders in Mongolia are more connected than I am. 'And they're welcome to it too!

The End.