A pal over on Facebook went through his genealogy program, and found his family was distantly related to the Brit Royal Family. Somehow via some Prince a zillion years ago in Saxony.
Look deep enough into the gene pool you'll find crap like that.
As it happens I'm very distantly related to mass murderers as well. The fucking Tolbert's of Liberia. These guys looted murdered oppressed the people of the failed state of Liberia forever.
"Distant Cousin Tolbert"
Liberia for them that were absent that day is the only America colony in Africa. Note family resemblance in their flag above. President Monroe a million years ago started it to get rid of the darkies by dumping them in the first clearing in the fucking jungle he could find.
He gave these poor bastards "Independence", and didn't look back.
As with all colonies there was already folks there,...yeah they were off to the races from day one. The Natives were fucked what with having these new guys hanging around with the backing of the American Army, and Navy.
It didn't end well.
Cut to 1980. Basically the Natives killed everybody. However some of them Tolbert's got away with a big chunk of the treasury, and retired to Geneva,...I didn't even get a t-shirt.
As is traditional in these situations Boss Tolbert the XIII or whatever was over thrown by a Sargent. Idi Amin was a Sargent as well. Hitler only made Corporal. Non-coms are bad for business.
Former "Sargent General Boss for Life Doe"
The new Boss for Life "Sargent Doe" as by tradition at once promoted himself to General then President for Life,...which proved to be rather short,...also traditional.
He instituted a reign of French Revolution style Terror. A hot time was had by all. There followed decades of the chaos we've come to ignore in that part of the world. Their current major export are Child Soldiers. Btw they're still an unofficial American colony.
I read when #45 found out about them he allegedly suggested that Black welfare cheats, and drug addicts could be dumped there. Much as the Brits used Australia. Basically sentence as many darkies as possible to "Transportation".
I don't think I'd like it there.
I mean besides river blindness Ebola AIDS getting beheaded,...that French terror stuff they so like. Besides all that noise. If they find out who my distant relations were I might get special treatment. Something involving extra crispy.
Family is a bitch.
I remember an article from the NYT about Liberia, in the 90s. An elder there was quoted as saying “our children are the worst people in the world.” The Times didn’t explain all that background though.
ReplyDeletePeople looking for their connections to royalty remind me of people remembering their past lives. These latter always recollect the time they were an Egyptian Princess; they never remember the lives when they were two-bit whores. But which is more probable, statistically speaking?
I’d say it’s a pretty good bet that everyone alive is descended from slaves, at some point in their pedigree. But no one but Alex Haley ever goes looking for that. It just doesn’t sound so good, you know?
The Vikings - easily half my ancestry - practiced slavery. (They also practiced human sacrifice, occasionally.) Who am I more likely to be descended from, king Knut, or a thrall of one of his vassals?
I suppose I might share ancestry with, say, Wilhelm II, or Leopold II of Belgium. I sure hope not though. They’re too much like that Tolbert guy.
Z
Not many look for where they came from.
ReplyDeleteThe seem to smugly assume they were all kings or rich warlords.
Not!
You're right most everyone alive has slaves in their DNA. It was the most common form of employment for post veldt humans.
This followed by warrior pig farmer whore, and guest of honor at a human sacrifice.
Sure there's scribes shamans assassins assholes the usual. However mostly the three major food groups.
Slaves whores warriors.
If nothing else all had amazing job security. No auto worker could claim anything like it.
Me I also have a traditional position.
This as a retired member of the scribe class. Broadcasters being in direct linear line from them guys.
Information technology, and all.
Roman scribes when too old stupid, and unable to write anymore were often just killed because they knew too much.
This has been replaced by Social Security.
In both cases we die. The Romans went faster,...lucky bastards.
Tradition.