"...co-morbidities"

From a year ago today. My 2020 Pandemic Journals.

If these were normal times a lot of us including me would present ourselves at hospitals for the works. Basically everything physical, and emotional is wrong fucked up, and broken.

My assorted co-morbidities as it's put these days are in the red, and have been for over a month. I'll let you imagine the details since many of you have the same things. Also my disposition of being personally clean, and tidy went out the window a while ago.

As I enjoy saying Queers are genetically engineered by nature to be tidy. We can also cook do art have a good fashion sense, and are too smart for our own good.

I feel like hell.

That, and the world as we knew it is rapidly ending all around us. This time I don't think we go back to exactly the way it was. No matter how bad our head of state wants it.

I read that the higher ranks of the military including the former head of the Joints Chiefs and Commandant of the bleeping Marine Corps is finally letting loose on #45.

This is interesting,...

https://www.msn.com/.../james-mattis.../ar-BB14ZPey...

Also the current Secretary of the Army is not sure it's a good idea to inflict the regular armed forces on the American people.

Which is to say "...Dominate them" as our head of state insists.

Serious religious leaders are less than jolly that our head of state has been using historic places of worship for disturbed photo-ops. Especially when using military police forces to violently clear demonstrators out of the way.

Then there's the Virus,...the one that just killed over 100,000 people in this republic. ...remember that?

It's still here, and as infectious as it was the first day.

That Second Wave is going to be fucking Hell.

Just like the second wave of the 1918 Pandemic was.

What with delusional violent, and heavily armed anti-lockdown fans spreading it everywhere. Them, and young folks bored with quarantine going clubbing to the parks amusement grounds, and the beach.

Now many tens of thousands are exposing themselves each other, and their families. This in the waves of demonstrations in all 50 States. As part of our re-ignited Race War.

Since the plague is clearly over my landlord is sending contractors to fix my bathroom. I have extra masks if needed.

Did I cover everything?

Well the Pentagon just reminded us that UFO's are real. The second time they did this,...do they know something? They now admit them things have been hanging around their bases, and buzzing aircraft carriers for years.

"Watch the Skies!"

(Reference to a classic S/F flick.)

Anyway I took my first hot shower in three days, and I need to shop for food. I finally ran through my pantry bunker of canned goods.

Speaking of Bunkers.

Our head of state, and his pals are in the middle of re-writing history. ...again. This about the secret service stuffing him into the White House Nuke Bunker during the protests.

As in 1984 there's a major re-write in progress.

Seems he was not cowering, but out, and about heroically surveying the damage done by terrorist liberals to our sacred monuments.

"...let's eat"

I'm thinking of starting my own extremist party. In keeping with the times. One involving pastries, and whipped cream. No berries or assorted chunks of stuff. Whipped cream, and only bleeping whipped cream! National health free tuition, and 24 hour libraries that deliver are goals. We'll wear crowns like Mickey up there because it's fun. All welcome. How many signatures do you need to get on the Ballot?

"...slowly"

 

*Comments from summer 2020. 

This on a far left page,...forget which one.

What fucking delusional jerks they are. I saw that when I was a kid. They’d go to demos, and get busted then be bailed out by their rich folks. Then be back home in time to get high, and laid with their pals. The poor kids, and blacks busted with them were busy getting fucked in the ass while still there, and getting real sentences.

Here’s two comments. 

One from a Revolutionary Communist Youth member.

Then me a pissed off old guy that has seen the real shit.

Paul Gilman: ...The one of the greatest delusions, is that the people are totally helpless against the ruling-classes.  We are not helpless.  It’s starts with taking principled stance, and expecting what ever leadership is out there to live up to those principles.  Don’t worry about the size of the movement.  If you are on the right-track, your movement will grow, and eventually challenge the ruling-classes.  It starts with you.

I replied.

Sidney Smith: ...I’ve heard exactly what you say for near 60 years yet here we are. An open white race nationalist in the white house with a good chance of re-election. Armed Klan, and Nazis in our streets, and you say this? And what happens when he wins…“don’t mourn organize?”. 

Really? 

*(He didn't get re-elected, but he turned the Republicans into a Neo-Nazi party.)

I’m 70 I’m afraid I just don’t have the time. I was a child of the Civil Rights Movement,…literally. Both my parents marched, and risked their lives. My life has been fucked, but I’m still here.

I’m an elder, but that didn’t stop me from being stopped, and roughly frisked two years ago. I was one sudden move from a bullet. You say “…don’t worry” You must be white, and middle class. Danger is theoretical for you…I don’t know…I don’t know your life, but it seems so. 

Lately when I speak with still living family we wonder if it was all in vain. We changed laws, but few hearts. That this country is simply beyond healing that it’s evil is stronger that any of us imagined. 

The road is far longer than we believed. Not impossible, but many decades more of work. Maybe another century, and more. “…The arc of history bends toward justice." 

So very slowly it bends.

Meantime you go organize,…I’m sure Che has the answer.

*(...I post this for my own amusement. No ones cares, and it going to get insanely worse.)

"...Life is but a Dream"

Long ago I imagined that all my life was a dream. A dream I was having as a child.

Even my posting right now on a sunny day in June 2021 is part of the dream.

I'll awake. I'm in my bunkbed. My brother John asleep below me.

It's winter I can see snow in the back yard.

I'm eight. It's January 1959.

I hear our dog Brownie padding about below.

My dad getting ready to go to work.

School I have to go to school.

I dreamed in fine detail a whole history.

I have the experiences, memories of a lifetime.

I hold more than 60 future years.

Who to tell what to do?

"...once upon a time"

From my Pandemic journals.

This from a year ago today when the country was convulsed after the murder of George Floyd by the police. "...I was at my windows just now. I heard a familiar rumble. Despite the rain the lightning moving through. I saw...at last count five police helicopters orbiting the area. It's after curfew. I don't know if any actions are going on. However they're there. Such hard confused terrible times.

However they will pass. We will many of us learn, and be better for it.

We will live our lives in the light."

"...I refuse to forget"

Another entry from my Pandemic Journals. This from a year ago today.

"...Once upon a time."

Emerald City. Day 78. ...I think.

Today I just sat. This at my cute bedroom window. I say cute because I put a lot of work into it. It's a pre-war apartment. Lots of nice woodwork. Which for now I can still afford.

I was sitting there because I'm working on my digs. Plastering painting, and generally bringing more order into the world.

However.

In addition to the sickness in my building. The death here, and on my block. The 100,000 souls lost in this republic to the Virus.

Then our Race War re-ignites.

Deaths fires official cruelties gross venal insanities from our head of state. The constant sound of ambulances is joined by cop cars fire engines, and police helicopters 24/7...everyday all day.

So I sat.

I sat by my bedroom window. My ladder paints, and brushes ready.

The time passed. The sun's shadows moved across my floor.

It grew to dusk. Still I sat. Time stopped like this when my brother John passed. Before that other passing's of family, and old friends,....time stops.

No heart to work.

The sun makes it's arc, and night comes.

Sirens wail on. The wind billows my curtains.

 

"...Ice Burgers"

Record low temperatures. In NYC, the low temp of 51f from 1884 was tied. On Sunday, a repeat low of 51f froze out the old record of 55f set once again in 1884. In fact, it was warmer on Christmas Day 2020 than this Memorial Day in the Emerald City. The high on Dec. 25th in Central Park was 61f. It was 51f on Memorial Day. Fox News was right. Global Warming is a Hoax. Below Bob da Bunny on his way to a Memorial Day cook-out.

"...Memorial Day"

They fought the fucking Nazis, and wiped them out.

Well done! Nuff said.

 

"...you decide"

I usually ignore the Stroller Pushers Mardi Gras.

Having no interest in a Straight-gaie 

movement that wants me dead.

The Spirit of Harry Hay weeps.

However by mistake they seem to support Queers 

that fled from countries that kill them. 

Eastern Europe Russia Africa the Mid-East. 

These places all kill Queers. 

Straight-gaie Stroller Pushers or Dionysian.

These, and all the varieties of Queers. They kills them.

So I looked up this bunch.

CRIMINAL QUEERNESS | Natl Queer Theater (nationalqueertheater.org)

Not remotely Dionysian friendly.

But the enemy of my enemy all that.

You decide.