After the Plague is really over. I may give lectures at the New School. ...or online. Guy Lessons. That in how to live in a house a cabin or apartment of any size. These are all the same to guys. Just somewhere to eat crap sleep, and never maintain.
Being of various orientations over the centuries. I've been able to observe guys closely. Shock, and horror does not begin. As Quentin Crisp, a noted guy, once said, "...Apartments in New York are wonderful. After three years they don't get any dirtier."
'And they don't.
Or so it seems. Once a topsoil of dust bug parts shed skin radioactive isotopes, and roaming Buffalo settles in. You're good for years of cozy living. I've known cases of decades. So why disturb such peace, and order?
Because we're supposed to be fucking civilized that's why!
This last year of being stuck in my digs showed that even a tidy soul as myself was in reality a bleeping slob. You recall photos of my Zen empty digs. So proud I was,...till I was stuck there, and had a good bleeping look!
Holy crap!
There was a reason why I kept hacking at my digs over the months of Lockdown. Painting banging plastering repairing constantly cleaning. Where the bleep does all that dust come from?
Specifically dust.
That stuff of future apartment topsoil. Every day I shovel a kilo of dat stuff out'a here. No wonder regular guys can plant crops in their hallways.
Don't start about city windows.
Those I let go as utterly impossible to tame.
The rest can be dealt with. However it's a pain in da butt. Which is why dear Quentin just said fuck it, and wrote books, and plays instead.
In our next chapter how to quickly, and with ease. Keep not only your kitchen, but the toilet the floors all surfaces including ya self squeaky clean!
This, and very presentable to random City Building Inspectors. Them, and plumbers were my only guests this past year, and more. I now look forward to their visits.
I recall one saying:
"...I could walk around your place blind folded, and not bump into anything."
I took that a complete validation of my efforts.
It's worse when you live with slobs. There is no hope of a pleasant home in that case, unless you fancy spending all of your time doing nothing but clean house, which I don't. Horizontal surfaces are the main problem, as they collect dirt.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'd like is a small beautiful cottage of my own, easy to clean, or a nice little geodesic, with maybe one of those vacuum robots that bounce off the walls. I'd prefer out in the woods, ideally by a stream.
Z
Z
Sounds swell.
ReplyDeleteI so hopes ya gets it one day.
In my case friends had suggested I get a room mate or two.
This to help with my rent when I retired.
????!!!!!
"...FUCK NOOOOOOOOO!" I politely said!
Living in relative poverty is far far more tolerable than having other actual Bipedal humans roaming my digs. Spreading their waste products as they wander. It's just me, and Bob da Bunny.
And Bob is usually out assassinating folks for the NSA most of the time. When he comes home he just sleeps in the hall closet.
So it all works out just peachy for us.