"...home"

 

"...neither"

I was reading a piece on a friend's page. Basically it went on about why some homes portions of them are cluttered...messy. Mostly it seems in response to failing structure within their lives. 'But if you are consistently tidy with few possessions, and have calm cleanliness. I have this, but still weather much the same traumas as a hoarder.

Perhaps our behaviors are unique. 'Can't be categorized. Our reactions to harsh events specific to just us. If I'd had a peaceful life would my digs be cluttered? Above my for real dining room. I have deliberately made islands of sanity. Now in my home earlier in my career. I kept it, and keep it this way to deal with trauma. In the same way others accumulate objects, and let things go.

Neither is ultimately different. They are both responses to the world as it is.

 

"...this day"

It is Memorial Day.

On this day by tradition we remember our Honored Dead.

From 1917 thru 2021 we have lost 512,557 killed in action.

This in WW1 WW2 Korea Vietnam, and the War on Terror.

The Pandemic perished are also our Honor Fallen.

From 2020 thru 2021, ...600,000, and still counting.

However on closer research it may be closer to 900,000. See NPR report below.

These are numbers just figures, and do not tell the story of all these individuals.

Persons like you, and I that wanted to live love laugh, and dream.

"...I don't mind"

A FB friend mentioned she may soon be using a cane to get about. I'm now using one sometimes. Folks were already holding doors for me giving me seats on the bus, and subway. Offering to help me carry things up the stairs. Before I'd politely refuse,...but these days the help is welcome. My dear sister Sylvia a few years ago. She held me by the arm as she took me about for a haircut, and Easter suit make over. This thoughtful attention by those around me started in increments. The first time was at the movies when they didn't ask for my ID for the Senior discount. Age is slow so are the signs. I don't mind. I find it fascinating, and sweet.

 

"...decorated"

I've posted this old family photo a few times. Thanks to cousin Daryl for emailing it to me. It was taken I think in the spring of 1959 in the back yard of my Aunt Agnes's house in Queens. Okay...top row My dear cousin James whom we all called "Jimmie". Then Grandpa...who was as Mysterious as he was kind.

Next row is me...long story there.

Then cousin Henry...Decorated Viet-Vet. Then John..."Johnny" my big brother also Decorated Vet. That, and commended by three Presidents of both parties for his Vets-assistance work. Next row my dear cousin Sandra,..."Sandy" whom we lost too soon. Then cousin Daryl...a swell kid, and now good man. Then of course my good, and dear Sister Sylvia,..."Cookie" who has saved my life more times than I can count.

Such as we were such was our lives.

"...hot dawgs'n fries"

It's the Memorial Day weekend. Tomorrow in our republic we honor our war fallen, and celebrate the start of summer. Odd mix, but that's us. Unlike above a few years ago. It's 48f~8c by my kitchen thermometer. Normally on this day it'd be in the 80's or even 90's. It raining with heavy rains coming. Coney Island is literally empty. It's usually near a half million+ on this day. Btw Mermaid's Parade which signals the Emerald City start of summer is postponed due to Pandemic. Our Mermaids will for this year start Fall instead. September 12th is the new date. Which is better for me since it was always too damned hot. That's why I missed half the Queer Pride stuff over the last 50 years. Stonewall would have been better in October...closer to Halloween it's spiritual cousin.

"...point blank"

FB just delivered this Memory. I decided to post it as nothing has changed. It saves me the trauma of writing another. Do we even know how many police killings or the ones we do to ourselves this year? So,...Once upon a time.

May 20th, 2020. Forgive me If I'm not being pulled into the latest police killing of an unarmed Black person. I've seen this before. Many many times. It always ends the same.

Hand wringing pleas that it must change sorry for the dead.

In a few days we'll move on, and forget any of this happened.

Remember when you couldn't go online without seeing a phone video of an unarmed Black being beaten or shot point blank dead. If you're my age you remember when Niggers like me were actually lynched to no mention or caring.

As I said on another comment.

I remember our cities burning, and tanks in the streets.

Like now 60 years ago or 100 years ago. The routine murder of dark skinned people by white skinned people is okay.

Age gender or infirmity isn't or ever was a sanctuary.

In recent years an 86 year old Black man in Florida,...an 11 year old Black boy in Detroit.

All unarmed all shot dead by white cops.

This is not my problem to ponder.

It's white people's crimes to repent, and make good on.

Which they never will because,...they don't have to.

I was 68 in 2018 the last time policemen roughed me up.

I was shoved about, and had a gun held on me.

This for leaving the library one winter's evening while Black.

The first time I was grabbed by white cops was 60 years earlier in 1958. My Ma sent me to the corner store for bread...Wonder bread I think I remember,...and milk for my then baby sister.

I was eight.

There was a purse snatching.

I was Colored I was there,...so I must have done it.

How were most of you doing at eight?

So please be outraged it seems to make you feel better.

Me I'm just waiting for my turn to come again.

Meantime I dream of other realities,...ones with gentle loving beings,...especially Faeries.

"...smokes"

On the other hand. There's flash lightning, and rain in Brooklyn. Bob da Bunny outside in the down pour this Sunday morning. On his way to the Bodega for smokes.

 

"...DC-3"

Sometimes like this morning. I got up at 4am,...it's like that. Sometimes one has to put the world out of mind. Then just read or play with your toys. My model of a British European Airways DC-3. 1/72nd Corgi scale for you modeling fans.

 

"...time, and again"

I was just reading entries from my very first blog. How much, and how little I've changed in 16 years. I was younger healthier but mostly much the same otherwise. Cranky depressed pissed off humorous wondering.

I was, and am so full of fucking shit,...but I mean well. Anyway I'm still pissed, and depressed, but I keep surviving. This is not as nice as it sounds. I think of how everyone sez they want to live forever. This without thinking that through. 

One day it will be 50,000 years from now on a crappy Tuesday, and you'll still be here staring blankly trying to get laid. I have an actual hostility to or at least inpatients with fear, and death.

Not sure why I never feared my own death, but it's consistent. I've been brutally assaulted in my youth by bullies, and cops had very serious injuries illnesses, and tried to off myself several times. Sure I was freaked out, but no fear. That was the last thing on my mind. I might have been a good cop or soldier,...maybe not. I can't hurt anyone.

I gots no wise stuff to end this. I'm just an old weird fed up guy thinking things over. The weather for example. It was fucking 90's for days. Now it's a cold wet night in May towards the end of a plague that's so far killed we now hear 900,000 people in this Republic. That, and it caused a Second Great Depression in fact if not name. 

We're a nation divided in half between those that believe in demented conspiracies, and Neo-Nazi politics, and those that just want to get da fuck home alive. Common place violent acts against Blacks Jews Asians Queers, and all the other usual suspects...toss in the mass shootings for laffs. 

Did I mention there are now new versions of the fucking plague loose in the world? They say the Vaccines will mostly stop them too,...mostly.

I don't know about you, but I'm having a ball.

 

 

"...history"

What to do with that tonnage of Confederate memorabilia. There’s Confederate general Nathan Forrest up there. Inarguably a war criminal for ordering the execution of surrendered black troops. Even given that they should leave a few where they are. …though not him. Leave some, but balanced with statues of Abolitionists in the same park. Even better have them face each other. That would honor history.

As has been suggested put most of the statues in Civil War battle, and grave sites. …and leave it at that. It acknowledges the memory, but does not glorify it. You can’t deny history. You can only acknowledge it, and learn from it. Though the common Southern trooper did fight with great valor,…even Obama said this. However their cause was not worthy of them,…he said that too. Case closed.

Now lets just get the hell on with the 21st bleeping century.

Btw I remember when the Klan wanted to march in Harlem. This back in the late 60’s 70’s. All hell broke loose, and it never happen. Me I said at the time that they should march. I mean this I ‘had’ to see. Ideally everybody should have been friendly, and respectful to our “guests”.

We should have patience. Be humane person to person as Dr. King asked us to be. Confront your enemy with kindness. If nothing else it’ll be fun to watch them freak out. Still I had hoped for meetings, and debates between the Kluxers, and Harlemites. All done over a great table of Bar-B-Q, and Rolling Rock Beer. That, and everybody goes home changed in their hearts having found out that we we’re all just folks. It is such dreams as this that have saved my sanity.

"...rightful"

 

I’ve been writing about my father, and other male relations lately on other pages, and boards. Mostly in regards to their being Negro and fighting for the segregated U.S. armed forces during World War 2. There he is up there. Sargent Alfred Smith United States Army Air Corps 1944. 

I was going to write something next week for Memorial day. It’s the start of the summer season. Also it’s the day we remember all of our war dead. All from every war we’ve been in. This is a first draft, but I decided to post it today. I’ll post another version on the day.

They were Americans defending their country. Despite everything they, and theirs had suffered this was their country, and no one, not the Klan, not Tojo, not Hitler was gonna say it wasn’t. I’m thinking back to the 1950’s when I was a little boy, and my Dad, and my Uncles, combat vets all, towered over me like redwoods.

There was a strength even in their softest words. I felt very safe in that forest of elders. They’d come back. They were home, and were setting about to make their country, their rightful home better. They had just fought, and helped to defeat two of the most evil powers to appear in centuries. If those forces had won I would not be here nor would most of you. 

My elders never spoke openly about what they’d seen, and done. However we could see the road map of battles cut into their body’s. When at the beach I saw war scars on my Dads legs, and burns on one Uncle, and shrapnel wounds on another. They didn’t have to tell us we saw, and understood.

They're gone now, and I miss them all. So I say God Bless you Dad, Uncle Lee, Uncle George, Uncle Clyde, Uncle Owen. Thank you for giving us our lives, our hope, and the World.

 

 "Yeah we went to the Bleeping MOON! 

Now Shut the Fuck UP!!!!!!!!!!!"

"...dreams"

 

I'm surprised how few have come to this conclusion. 

The cultural parallels between the Internet, and the fictional Krell thought machine. This from the film Forbidden Planet.

In both cases a whole world had access to a tech that can cross any border give any information real or imagined. At any time to anyone in any shape or manner.

The only different is the 'Net is still just information. 

We have to act on it,...and to our sorrow we are.

The Krell took it further.

They could make not just information, but matter appear anywhere any time for any purpose.

Which was their doom.

"...newsroom"

I did this doll shoot 14 years ago. I was just looking at it.

Ya know I always sort of liked it.

I loves e'm all, but have favs.

I shot it in the News Room of that station.

The one I wasted my life at.

These as I recall da shot after mid-nite in a recording booth.

"...classified"

Above the only known image of Alt-B-52 serial number 61-0041. This as it appeared over Elmendorf AFB Alaska on June, 3rd 2014. The aircraft seen as it came through a dimensional rift from an alternate timeline. One where WW3 had ignited. 

The actual 61-0041 was still on the ground at it's base in Wyoming as this happened. The alternate B-52 did not respond to hails. It was tracked to it's target in nearby Siberia where it dropped it's bombs. 

Fortunately before detonation the plane, and bombs re-entered the rift returning to their original history, and we assume a war still in progress.

( 'Was thinking of writing more short time travel tales.) 

"...裸の美しい少年!"

 

"...Wild Boys",...a re-run from years ago. we need it.

"Wild Boys" fight for a Revolution we can believe in.

They'll  hold mass pie throwing's at the cruel One Percent.

In slow, and entertaining manners.

Just 63 of these guys hold 1/3 of the whole world's wealth.

That, and they want more!

They'll open the granaries. Cleanse the water tables.

Dump all the gold in Fort Knox into the Mariana Trench.

They'll tell the Truth.

They'll free all the wage slaves!

 Erase every episode of the "Walking Dead". 

Make life a university of joy!

Hold speed racing contests with jets fighters.

Burn temples of cultist worship, and build palaces for the homeless 

hungry, and fucked over...with free cable, 

and high speed unblocked connections.

Then they'll establish the Free Lunch for all!

All this on the first day.

After that they'll get serious.

"...DANCE!!!!!"

 

"...A day in the park with Sister Barbie"...and a Kudu