Well I'm enjoying hot soup on this now somewhat chilly day. This planetary climate alteration thing has us warm one day chipping ice off the walk the next...figuratively.
All part of this strange world I've lived into. Thing is I'm still not used to a non-demanding life since my years ago retirement. Forcible though it was. There's really no place I 'need' to be. Before I had responsibilities serious ones.
As during the care-giving era of my, and my sister's life. Looking after aging, and seriously ill elders that we loved so. That, and when working I had shows to plan engineering shifts to prepare for. Internal political station warfare to contend with.
Now I just wake up, and well...Nothing.
The whole world joined me in this Null-Void for a whole year. Though now with the vaccine business as usual once more. They'll forget that near 600,000 persons died. They'll go back to oblivious reality shows, and calm bigotries.
Me at the start of my Void I took classes went on long walks taking photos. 'Did art stuff, and such, but I think I'm now retired from that as well. Emptiness. It was strange having the world join me in that. That's over now back to normal. It's just me, and the other shut-in's again. I may never get that shot...what for? It's not like I'm going to meet, an speak to anyone.
As I told my former shrink, "...the world is getting away from me. I don't understand or seem to belong in it. In fact I don't want to"
Like my grandmother who was born at the very end of the 19th century, and lived to see us fly in the air go to the moon the very early digital age the beginnings of full Civil Rights. That, and holy shit Queer Pride parades. Like her I feel a stranger in this even stranger land.
However like that book's title. "Still I Persist in Wondering"
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