Well let's see everything is going to shit. It's still too hot, and humid. My health is going deeper into the crapper. I can hardly stand up or properly walk any distance.
This is why I posted no images or shit this summer from the beach the parks or around town. I just couldn't get there. First time in my life this shit went down like this. So this is being old,...fuck it.
I'm behind in rent, and electric.
Here's a highlight. My vision is screwed,...they said this would kick in eventually. Vision is crapping out a bit.
Blindness,...maybe just a dash.
Diabetes does this. You lose limbs go blind then you die. Otherwise it's fine. Except for my fucking kidneys these seem screwed too.
Me I'm okay I don't give a fuck.
When I was in hospital all those times. I'd see, and hear old folks like me praying their wrinkled butts off.
Religion destroys your dignity.
These folks had none. Begging, and literally crying for Jebus to come save them. They believed this guy was real, and shows up if you begs hard enough. Me I just wanted a fucking decent hot meal.
Hospital food sucks.
People in some of these places suffer from malnutrition. Nice huh. This is why families show up to feed the inmates. I had no one. In all my stays no one not one ever came to see if I was dead yet. I see a pattern forming.
I'm going to die alone in one of them shitholes.
Possibly unclaimed, and dumped in a Potter's Field.
I have a few relatives, but not close. They'll have no idea I dropped dead. Landlord will trash my stuff. Then it'll be as if I never was.
Fuck it.
Btw it's only 114 days or so till Xmas. This makes me so short of breath anemic, and numb. I can hardly wait to sit alone in my digs listening to my neighbors all around me having a ball.
Almost as much fun a smelling everyone's Thanksgiving dinners as I sit in my empty digs eating spam, and crackers.
Yeah life sucks. So what I'm alive.
Btw don't you dare do any sob shit or sympathy. Billions have it worse. I'm fine. I'm just bitching out loud is all. I'll die with dignity thanks.
Stay tuned.
I know how you feel Sidney. I'm old too. Let's both keep bitching out loud! A little music helps too, but it sounds even better on a full stomach.
ReplyDeleteHang in there buddy!
Bless you comrade.
ReplyDeleteYa know just recently it's hit me how long I been around, and how soon I'll be leaving. I'm getting this liberating fuck it attitude.
Sure I'm still responsible. I keep things all tidy,...I'm Queer after all. I pay as many bill as I can. I stay clean. I always impress them wonks from City Social Services. This when they come by three times a year to see if I'm still alive.
When they shows up as I've posted. These folks are so surprised I has swell Zen tidy digs. One really went on, and on about it.
I mean for a poor old guy to still bathe, and have cute digs?!
They told me most in my time of life, and condition live in hoarder hells with wildlife crawling about and soap nowhere in sight.
Yuck.
Well what can I say Queers are just genetically superior beings. Imagine If I still had money what, and I could do with it. Bleep it I make do.
Stay tuned I ain't done yet. More interesting shit to come.
Yeah Comrade I'm hanging the fuck in!